Where is God when trauma happens?

 

It was August 16. 

Fernanda Pacheco Ferras, a 13 year old Brazilian schoolgirl, poked her head out of the schoolbus window as she waved to friends.  The bus veered to avoid a collision, and Fernanda's head collided with a pole. Francesca died from her injuries before medical personnel could get to her.

The secretary of state for education suspended classes for two days to give the community opportunity to mourn this tragic loss. (link)

Traumatic loss is so hard to deal with. There is usually no preparation. It just happens, suddenly. One moment Fernanda is with us, the next she is gone. Her friends are in shock, grieving the untimely loss of a vivacious young schoolgirl.

Where is God in this?

The Bible makes numerous references to God being a father to the fatherless, a husband to the widow, 

Alone or lonely?

 

There is a difference between being alone, and being lonely.

Being alone is a condition. We are on our own, no one is there with us. We face life's struggles, alone. No one to support us, standing with us. We are alone.  Or so it seems.

The person who just lost their spouse to cancer is alone. Part of them has been torn away, slowly. The child who lost their dad in a car wreck just suddenly lost one of the two most significant people in their life. They are alone, someone dear to them is no longer present.

Loneliness, on the other hand, is a feeling. We can be in the middle of a crowd, and still feel lonely. We can be in a family gathering at Thanksgiving, and yet feel lonely. The others are having a good time, but we feel left out. We feel lonely. We feel as though we are on our own, but we are not. It is an emotion we are experiencing.

The person who is alone, can feel lonely. It is a feeling that can come along with being alone. They miss the person who is absent, who completes the picture. But not everyone who is alone, experiences loneliness in the same way.

One person loses their husband, suddenly. There is a face missing in the family portrait. They feel shock, sorrow, perhaps anger that their loved one is gone. Then their thoughts mull over the good times they had. Not all their experiences were good ones, life is not all a bowl of cherries. But in every life their are moments to cherish, to hold onto, to not let slip through our fingers. Thankfulness warms this person's heart, and they are able to bear the aloneness.

In the darkness of the blackest day after we lost someone, Jesus says to us, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" - Hebrews 13:5. He tells us in Proverbs, " ... There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" - Proverbs 18:24. 

No matter how dark your situation is today, you are not alone. Jesus tells us, "My grace is sufficient for you ..." - 2 Corinthians 12:9. He is with us as we go through the darkest places, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me" - Psalm 23:4.

So as we experience aloneness, we do not need to be swallowed up in loneliness. Keep room in our heart for gratitude, and for people around us who dearly want to stand with us, supporting us in our grief.

Finally, allow the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, to shed God's amazing love in our heart. A sense of His presence will help you through this most difficult time of your life.

Take a look at our bereavement support page.